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How to be a better husband and father

How Can I Become A Better Husband And Father? | Paul Friedman

How Can I Become A Better Husband And Father? | Paul Friedman3 May. 2020
855

Are you asking yourself

Are you asking yourself how you can become a better husband and father? Watch the video and hear what Paul says on this topic for you to be a better father and a better husband.

I'd like to help you get started moving in the right direction on this one. I don't know whether this is something that you became aware of on your own or whether your wife said to you that

you're not living up to her expectations but there's a lot that you can do so we need to talk about let's first begin with husband and then we'll move into father.

When you got married, you got married with a promise to your wife that you would love her, that you would be there for her, that you would care for her, protect her for the rest of your lives.

Biologically speaking, man's role is as a protector and so you're not making it in that arena even though you may think you are because you've probably crossed the most typical usual line that men cross and that is the line of going from a protector to a threat so I'm going to use this to illustrate what I'm talking about.

Actually, a friend of mine back when I was doing divorce mediation, it was another divorce mediator and he heard it from another divorce mediator and it's great. He said to imagine going to a planet where you don't know what to expect and you bring two bodyguards and the bodyguards are fighting with each other. Woah, you're in trouble, right so that's what happens

to your children when you're not getting along with your wife so I took this a little further.

Imagine you hire a bodyguard and you're walking down the street, a very loyal good bodyguard and then he says pulls out his gun, he says, " I could shoot you in your head right now and I

would totally get away with it." Man, that guy is gone right then and there or the next day by memo because you don't really want to get near him because he's threatening. Well, with our wives what we tend to do if we're not educated about this is we forget that our power is in

all the areas. Our power to protect is in all these areas that effectively protect like if someone's coming at you, you may act sternly.

You're not going to pull out a gun necessarily but you can act sternly and says, "You better back off." You use that tone of voice and the person goes, "Okay." Now your wife who is the protectee when you use that tone of voice on her, it has the same effect as if she were an enemy but worse it's a betrayal. This is the number one mistake that men make. They raise their voice and

you could say, "Well, she screams at me," but it's not the same.

Men raise their voice they speak sternly, they take charge. They put themselves in the position of a commanding officer. All those things betray your marriage vows. You're supposed to use your powers only for protection. It's the same thing with children especially girl children. If you behave in that manner, they will fear you rather than feel loved and protected by you. This is subtle stuff but it really is profound because it really does have the fit.

I'm not saying you don't discipline your children. You could spank your children. I shouldn't say that because these days you can't spank your children. Even when I raise my children two of my kids begged me to spank them so they would have that experience but you can be diplomatically utilizing your strength with your children. They need to understand and your wife needs to

understand that your power is their resource and not a threat so that's number one. That's number one, you have to end any kind of behaviors that imply that you may use your weapons of power on them. They just have to be gone. It doesn't do any good to apologize for any past

mistakes but you can say, "Wow, I didn't know about this. I've learned this to your wife, not to your kids." And now I'm going to

be aware of it.

The second step -- so that's proactively reducing the negative part. It's huge, it's probably 80% of it or more for most men. The other thing is proactively expressing love, not in the form of but expressing love.

How do you express love?

You express love with actions of appreciation that are sincere acknowledgments, support,

recognition for women especially. Listening is a big way to express your love, to proactively listen, "How was your day? What happened?" Wow, really get into it. Understand it and

really try to understand it from her point of view as a woman, a mother, a soul.

Women are much more connected to themselves as souls than men are so that's really it. If you just do the first part, big, big changes. The second part is the icing on the cake. I hope this was helpful and useful and I hope your marriage is not sliding towards divorce. I hope that's not why you chose to search for this video.

#marriageproblems #maritalproblems #marriageissues #frustrated #wifeandhusbandproblems #marriageprogram

Comments (2)
Wet Like_you

I wish I could have heard this before I ruined everything

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20 ways to be a better father

20 ways to be a better father23 Jan. 2019
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Brett UllmanSubscribe 438 721

Today I want to challenge

Today I want to challenge the dads out there. If you want to learn how to be a better dad than this is the video for you. Now for the women who are watching, most of these are the same challenge for you. But, today I want to specially address the guys. These are things we can do to improve our parenting.

Remember a Father is a Father, is a father, is a father. No excuses / No exceptions. Whether you are married with kids, divorced, separated with kids, widowed dad, single guy with kids, teen dad etc. This video is for people who want to know how to be a good father.

I think we can all be better dads/fathers.

This is a list of 20 things you can do to be a better dad. There is NO order to these. You can add any more you like in the comments section.

1. Coach - stop sitting on the bench. Get involved and have some fun yourself.

2. Recognize that our kids are different than us

3. Look your kid in the eye when they ask you questions.

4. Say Yes

5. Get involved in what they like to do

6. Tell your kids you love them.

7. Work on your relationship with your spouse.

8. Teach things. Teach anything.

9. Don't let your kids see you follow the unfair household division of labour.

10. Be a parent. Hold kids accountable for their actions.

11. Admit you're wrong when you are.

12. Do not be a Disney Dad

13. Read a book about fatherhood.

14. Do things with your kids

15. Take vacations

16. Be a dad that learns

17. Exercise

18. As a dad, help younger dads. encourage them, mentor them etc

19. Be better in all other areas in your life.

20. Do a yearly family meeting.

Love to hear more things you can do to be a better father. Add your thoughts to the comments below.

ℹ️ More great resources on my website: https://www.brettullman.com

? Links to my book Parenting: Navigating Everything

Amazon – https://amzn.to/31ZEO4N

? My Amazon Storefront with links to all the books I suggest on each of the topics I speak on.

https://www.amazon.ca/shop/brettullman

? All of my talks below are now available as online courses. You can find them on my course page - https://navigatingeverything.thinkific.com/

1. Parenting: Navigating Everything

2. Media.Faith.Culture - the disconnect

3. Mental Health Talk (Hope for The Walking Wounded)

4. Dating.for.life: the questions

5. The Porn Project

6. The Sex Talk

✅ Parents, Students, and Leaders: Subscribe for more videos on how to Navigate Everything. https://www.youtube.com/BrettUllman1?sub_confirmation=1

? Suggested Video Series (9 videos) - How to Have a Better Relationship with your phone

https://youtu.be/4oGWyn9XQ4w

ℹ️ Where to find me on Social Media:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/brettullman11

Twitter: https://twitter.com/brettullman

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brettullman

DISCLAIMER: This video and/or description contains affiliate links, which means that if you click on one of the product links, I’ll receive a small commission. This helps support the channel and allows us to continue to make videos like this. Thank you for your support!

#NavigatingEverything

Comments (14)
Ryan Brueckner

Thanks for this video. Our kids need to see us smile. This brings a sense of safety and confidence to our kids.

Karl Grabin

Thanks for sharing. It’s so great to see what The LORD is doing when we follow Him.

Grant Barnes

Thank you for the great advice this will surly help me in becoming a better dad ???

Terry DeCoste

Be there. And not just there in body but in attention too. For me, this means putting down the phone and turning off the TV. I can't multi task like my wife can, and I can't be a good dad if my focus is on a screen.

Scott Stephenson

Great video Brett, thanks for sharing some wisdom

Jordan Carland

I prefer family night when the kids are involved. Date night just for the wife.

Maxwell Basden

Great Advice! Thank you for taking time out of your day

THE REEL LIFE

You could add teaching them about god and having devotions every night so they learn about god

Mick Bowe

say yes to McDonald's....right

LONNIE STETZLER

I am absolutely astonished and appalled that this doesn't have millions of views this is an absolutely amazing video I and my children personally thank you sometimes in life we get caught up in all the hustle and bustle and the rat race thereof we sometimes forget to pay attention to the small things especially the simple ones that mean the most thanks for this video sir..

dennis de vulder

Hi Brett,

Thank you for this video, as my first son was born I felt a little left out as the women picked up the tasks and provided for the baby. It took me some time to learn the importance of the male role in the household. Even though I might not be perfect the relationship between us is great! These tips will help me on my journey. Thanks.

Brett Ullman

What are some other ways not listed in this video that you can be a better dad? Leave some ideas in the comments.

Jason Goebel

Thanks. The past few weeks my son has been reverting to having break downs (he is almost 5) but I’ve noticed that this has correlated with me being busy and not spending as much time with him. And I see he’s fits as him getting attention from me, even if it’s negative. It’s also had me feeling guilty at night while trying to sleep. Thank your for your quick list, I think today when I pick him up I’m going to take him for a walk and talk with him. We haven’t done that in a long time.

M JOHNSON

Great video, great advice. Thanks!
this video should definitely have more views and likes

How to be a better Father, Husband, and Boyfriend: The Man Talk | Brett Ullman

How to be a better Father, Husband, and Boyfriend: The Man Talk | Brett Ullman25 Jan. 2018
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Brett UllmanSubscribe 438 721

One of the most searched

One of the most searched terms on my website and my youtube channel is How to be a better father, and how to be a better husband. There are also many searches for Christian husband, Christian men, Christian parenting, How to become a high value man, and many other similar searches. This talk goes through a ton of content to hopefully help you in this area.

This is my full presentation of my talk called The Man Talk. I present this talk in churches and conferences challenging guys to be better fathers, husbands, and boyfriends. I do come from a Christian worldview but this talk is good for anyone.

The Man Talk is what it sounds like - a discussion about what it's like to be a Man today. It's a real talk, a meat and potatoes approach to issues pressing us from all sides:

Being the best Father I can be.

What it's like to be a Husband and a Servant.

Christian men and sex.

Christian dating – A how to.

Boyfriend. Father. SON. Husband. Lover. Fixer. Buddy. Servant. Sexual. Boss. Hero. Boys Adrift. Friend. Guide. Daddy. Courageous. Loyal. Theirs. Mine.

Everybody needs a good talk at some point. And, this is one for you. Everyone's welcome to the man talk – ladies, no jeering. We're working on a talk for you too ;)

Real Men who aren't afraid to talk about Man stuff, and who are better for it.

As Christian men, we need to look at all aspects of our lives. We need to ask what the Bible says about these issues as well. We can get better in our marriages and in our parenting.

If this talk helped you or someone in your family and you would like to make a small donation to the Charity (Worlds Apart) you can do so from this link - https://www.canadahelps.org/en/dn/15850 Thanks for any support.

ℹ️ More great resources on my website: https://www.brettullman.com

? Links to my book Parenting: Navigating Everything

Amazon – https://amzn.to/31ZEO4N

? My Amazon Storefront with links to all the books I suggest on each of the topics I speak on.

https://www.amazon.ca/shop/brettullman

? All of my talks below are now available as online courses. You can find them on my course page - https://navigatingeverything.thinkific.com/

1. Parenting: Navigating Everything

2. Media.Faith.Culture - the disconnect

3. Mental Health Talk (Hope for The Walking Wounded)

4. Dating.for.life: the questions

5. The Porn Project

6. The Sex Talk

✅ Parents, Students, and Leaders: Subscribe for more videos on how to Navigate Everything. https://www.youtube.com/BrettUllman1?sub_confirmation=1

? Suggested Video Series (9 videos) - How to Have a Better Relationship with your phone

https://youtu.be/4oGWyn9XQ4w

ℹ️ Where to find me on Social Media:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/brettullman11

Twitter: https://twitter.com/brettullman

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brettullman

DISCLAIMER: This video and/or description contains affiliate links, which means that if you click on one of the product links, I’ll receive a small commission. This helps support the channel and allows us to continue to make videos like this. Thank you for your support!

#NavigatingEverything

#betterhusband

#betterfather

Comments (23)
Steve Mayes

I just want to say thank you Brett this is a great help to me and really has opened my eyes and heart not only to my wife but towards my children and I want to say thank you

Stuart Lindsay

i wish i had sought out this self examination of myself years ago before my son grew to hate me for not being a good father to him and a family on the precipice of falling apart, is it too late? i don't know , however it doesn't meen i cant try

Steve 2020

I'm pinned in the ring taking punch after punch to the face from Brett in the first round. It's soooo much I have to pause the video. I'll need to go back a frew times with my pad of paper to recall all of the things it points out that I can do better. I have spent months watching narsasistic videos trying to figure her out and why she is the way she is, but I finally found the video that just hit hard.. turns out, she's a damn good catch. Thank you for posting this free video.

Stephan Joubert

Preaching to the choir. I doubt men who do these things or abandon their kids will look for how to be a better man or father videos on YouTube. Was hoping this would actually for men who want to be the best they can be for their families after not having good examples from their fathers or father figures. Too few videos on YouTube actually helping men and not blaming men.

Neal Harman

Thanks... hit me badly. I'm letting my wife and kids down daily... heading for a crash. Please pray for me and my family.

Richard Herndon

I wish I had been wise enough to seek this guidance before I married my wife. This is very eye opening to my shortcomings being the partner my true love needs me to be.

KodiDonCo

I wish I had seen this video before my wife and I started dating. It could have helped me understand more of what I’m doing wrong as a husband in my eyes. God bless you for this powerful message

f c

Left out two bits. More men in prison are raped than women as a whole but people throw those men away in those statistics. Also you left out a generation which is the role of sons . People start young sometimes, the helplessness and anger starts early. A society that doesn't have a strong sense fial piety misses that. The nuclear family is a mistake, bring back extended families so other than your parents other adults are looking out and smacking you - especially important for those without a one or both parents. Lastly Wait til your married to have kids the statistics will show that is the greatest determining factor for ending up in jail, crime, and everything else. Boys need their dads.

Roger Gutierrez

The Good Lord is everywhere fighting for us. And I thank God for people like this because I was literally getting so many answers and what I didn't know I should have been looking for. Thank u friend I have a long journey ahead of me.

william nelson

Hitting home already

Tracy Stephens

You lost me with all this toxic masculinity in the beginning.

Hyper Sports

I like your thoughts. But should a relationship/ marriage be 100%, 100%
Because nobody is the others boss.

Charles Ojo

Thank you Brett. This message is illuminating and very timely for me. God bless and keep you. Cheers

Divya Narayanan

Why didn't include being better Sons in your Agenda?

Marco Osiris

Good material but leave the bible out more & talk slower because you look nervous & that does not convey security it shows you in a rush of something. In a nutshell love yourself first , respect yourself & then you can love & respect others or at least begin an attempt to know which direction you need to go ..

KIDCALIGRAPHY S.M.E

This was truly amazing. I'm trying to become a better & improved husband/father for my wife & my daughters and listening to this actually helped me see the flaws that i've heard my wife express over the years. Thank you for this truly.

william nelson

Thank you

saddi Barbour

Thanks

Jack Taylor

Oh man this video is making me cry. You're so right. The woman in my life had to live without a father.

Ernesto Esparza

Brett, how I wish I could of seen this video years ago when I still had my family at home, it's like you said there is no do over in life. I hurt my wife to the point of no return not physically but emotionally I have scared my wife and broke her heart many times. If there was anything I could do to bring my family back to be the husband and father they deserved I would do it with out thinking twice and hold them ever so tight and never let go. I'm lost and alone I pray God hears my prayers and gives me a miracle

Nan C O

God is speaking through you! Thank you for this incredible talk ?? I can’t believe some people disliked your video. What sad humans they must be!

Tracy Stephens

Those stats on rape and domestic violence are incorrect

Dariush Morid

All I can say is I wish I'd watched this a couple of months ago. Thank you for all the value you added. Appreciate it.